Seeking attention from your partner is justified in most relationships. But if the attention turns into obsession you are surely in trouble. Even though self-obsessed men are a rare species, you can’t deny their existence totally.
Self-obsessed or narcissists are such men who are more than egoistic about self and always put on I’m-always-right attitude. You can experience such men anywhere from your colleagues to your friends. But if such a guy is your BF you must have some balls girlie. If you are not sure whether your BF falls in the narcissist category read on and you will certainly identify for yourself:
1. They Think They Are The Best
The narcissist guys are smart and self-motivated at all given points in time. They would be ready to accept greatness in all means possible. Even though they might not be on the highest post in the workplace they consider themselves as Legend in their minds. They also manipulate the rules for doing any task and lure others to think it is right. They are virtually best and convince others to believe so too.
2. They Are Big Time Attention Seekers
Every guy can expect a compliment here and there and there is no harm to it. But expecting a compliment in every fucking second, yes that’s what a narcissist expects. They want you to flatter them in all their likes and remind them how they are the best. No amount of attention will ever be enough for such creatures. They are great at having things their way and make you act their way. These guys can also be “high-maintenance” puppies. They think big stuff always, even if they can’t afford it and the usual prey will be their other halves to have them that expensive present.
3. They Make You a Queen-Just at the Beginning
At the beginning of your relationship, it would be really difficult to spot a narcissist. Such men usually would act as normal as a guy who is really in love. They would shower you with all their love and attention, not just that but also a lot of gifts and surprises. But the only way to spot such men is by their gestures.
A normal guy would usually compliment you once and buy you a gift and that would be it. But a narcissist will go out of his way to compliment you 10 times or even more in a row. They always overdo their gestures and can sometimes make their partners uncomfortable. Now you must be thinking, why do they overdo things? The only reason being, they are thinking; “what’s in you for them?”
A normal guy will be reasonable about your likes and dislikes and never over-exaggerate them while on the other hand a narcissist surely would exaggerate the same thing to an all different level. So be smart and always monitor his moves and question yourself.
4. They Don’t Take No For An Answer
Whatever may be the circumstances, a narcissist will never take NO for an answer. He will try his best to lure you, mend things right-left-center to get things his way. You may think of it as a cute gesture at first but it may prove to be the biggest problem in your relationship.
They would beg to meet you at any given point in time and make it look absolutely ok. Not just that if you reject and proposals but through, they would tend to take it personally and over-react. They make even create a perception where you would feel like you are doing a big mistake by not listening to him. They are very cruel and take any measures to do what their heart says.
5. They Say All The Things Right…Except When They Are Wrong
Narcissists are witty and highly manipulative. Due to such nature, they do anything which is unacceptable and back it up with their wit and manipulation. They are great at seducing people and can easily talk you into sex. They think they are always right even if they are greatly mistaken. Sorry is not the word for them. They never apologies or more so they will show you how it was your mistake and rather have you apologize.
They do not care about your feelings even if they pretend to. What they want is just your attention, attention and some more attention. This attention can be of various faces sometimes gifts, sometimes surprises and apologies as well.
6. They Do Not Have ‘Real’ Friends
A narcissist is such people who do not even believe in friendship. They will hang out with people who serve their purpose nothing more. They will be friendly with any person who is of their help for the time being. They can easily make friends, but as soon as their purpose is served, they throw out such friends even faster.
They cannot make lifetime bonding or long term friends. They may have seasonal friends or acquaintances but you are sure to see them disappear from his life sooner than later.
7. They Are Way Too Selfish Than You Can Imagine
Narcissists are an extreme level of selfish personality. They can do everything according to what pleases them being absolutely oblivious to the people around them. If you are the only one sacrificing or at the giving end of the relationship and something is seriously wrong.
Each one of us can be selfish at one point or the other in a relationship, but we are sure to be considerate about our partner’s feelings at least once. In the case of narcissist that won’t even be once. Because it’s simple, they don’t care!
If reading the above points made you feel…omg, how do you know my bf? You are surely dating a narcissist.
So You Are Dating A Narcissist, What Next?
The only advice I would have for you is-BREAK OFF! Don’t be appalled at such blunt advice, trust me it would just do a lot of good for you as a person. It won’t be an easy task to do, given that the narcissist will be his stubborn best to let you go. But you will just need to say “It’s over” and move on.
If you stay back to give him an explanation, he is sure to talk you into staying with him, making all sorts of promises he is never going to live up to. You will need to block his from all social networks and delete his contact, not return any calls or messages, neither react to his rude comments, all of these can be his tricks to at least get you talking to him, as he knows he can easily do the rest once you respond.
At one given point in time, his ego will no longer allow him to come anywhere close to your presence and he will find a new lure. Persistence is the key, do not give up when you decide to leave him. A narcissist can never love anyone, they just see people like a puppet, something they can use to fulfill their desires.